2.6 pounds gained...

when i weighed in monday night!! so that did not make me feel very good at all. i am trying but i just can't seem to find a good habit and in a good grove. so what to do but keep trying each and everyday to get back into the swing of things.

i think a lot of my problem is my personal battles that i am having with my feelings for all the changes that have happened this last year. i still am having a problem dealing with a few things and i just can't seem to get past them. i keep asking for help from God and he is helping but you know the devil always seems to work his way back in and damage the good works. so i am taking each moment as it comes and dealing with my feels the best way i know how. learning to take personal time outs and praying to God for gaudiness and peace and calm in my heart. i was told today that it doesn't matter what other people think of me as long as i am happy and that i am doing my best to live my life right.

okay so enough of that so i have been on the treadmill the last two mornings that makes me happy and makes me feel good.

happy hump day!!

i love you

Just taken time out of my day to tell you that i love you and appreciate all the things you have ever done for me. Life is short so love carelessly. If you get hurt remember what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. What was ment to be will always find its way. Love your haters they are your biggest fans. Kiss with your eyes closed because the best things in life are unseen. Remember every minute you spend unhappy is 60 seconds of happiness you will never get back. Everything happens for a reason. Send to everybody you got love for. Your on the clock you have 10 minutes to send to 10 people or loose the one you love.

still alive and kicking... lol!!

okay so i am trying to get back on track (and just how many times have we heard this one, lol!) so i am on day 3 and doing good with my eating and my drinking of water. i figured out that i have gained almost 10 pounds since January 2009. so i am getting to close to loosing my life time membership with weight watchers so i HAVE to get my butt in gear and get the 10 pounds off. so back on the treadmill i go in the morning and going to curves for women after work. i so wish i was one of those women who could eat what ever when ever she wants, but since i'm not here i am!!! i think i need some really good motivation to get my ass in gear, i need to find some blogs to fallow and give me encouragement. i know i have a few gals that read my and give me encouragement and i "Thank You" for that encouragement. weight loss is the biggest battle that women deal with. so many things, reasons make us want to eat boredom, stress, feelings, problems (past and present) family, and the list goes on and on... so what do we do? how do we change the cycle that we have grown to want and need? i have no clue!!! all i do know is that we have to change our habits and create new ones and new routines, and that is tough really tough to do. so that is why i am here again trying to get back on track wishing that i could stay on track and quite the ups and downs and learn to keep an even pace. so till next time!!

day 2

and i really want dairy queen it's so hot out and i just want ice cream!! this always happens i start out good but fall off so quickly anymore, i have lost my will power to say NO!!!!


points (22 points per day)
2~fiber one cereal and fiver one yogurt
4~starbucks
5~green salad (same as yesturday)


water~
16.9

a new day a new start

so here i go so how long till a blow it? well i know i will not stay within my points on saturday due to i am going shopping then out to lunch with the girls to red robin but i do love one of there salads instead of having a burger so i will feel better about that choice, plus shopping is excirse right? lol!!

points~ 22 per day
4~starbucks :)
2~fiber one cereal & fiber one key lime yogurt (mixed together)
6~green salad (peppered turkey 2oz, fat free 1000 dressing , lettuse, mushrooms, green onion, radis, red bell pepper)
0~diet root beer (4oz)
2~100 cal snack pack
6~pork roat
1~green beans
2~stuffing
2~100 cal snacks
total 25


water count~
50.7

well...

i think it is time to get my ass back in the gym and on the treadmill and start counting all my points again. i have gained to much in the last few months that i am not able to wear a few things :( so tomorrow is a GREAT day to start back on to WW. i know why i have gained all the stress is gone from life and i am happy again so i am eating and not caring what i am eating and how much of it. i am truly enjoying life again and finding my way through life. so the journey starts tomorrow to get these extra pounds off my ASS!!! and with that being said i will keep my blog updated and post my daily happenings (well maybe not everyday).

hugs...

are there different types? i say yes there are different types of hugs, you don't give your boyfriend/husband the same type of hug as you give your mother, father, brother, sister, etc. the hugs that you give and receive from your boyfriend/husband are different they tell you how much he loves you, cares for you and will protect you. i never thought about the hugs that i gave or received much until a couple of weeks ago and it got me to thinking about what is said with a hug. love, protection, caring, tenderness, compassion, happiness, joy, forgiveness. i am a girl that likes to be hugged and held, i like to know that i am loved and cared for and a hug says thous things to me. the man that i am with now loves to give hugs to the people that he cares most about and he makes me truly happy right now and i can see a future with him.

things are a changing...

in so many ways in my life right now. i just found out yesterday that my divorce is final and i am a single girl again. i have not been single since i was 16 years old. so how do i move on, how do i start a new chapter in my life, where do i go from here? all good questions and i only have one answer for all 3, take one day at a time and keep going. this is NOT the end of the world even though at times it may feel like it but it's not so i pick myself up and start each new day fresh. a fresh new day from God so you can make it the best or the worst day and i choose to make it the best day. this journey loosing the weight loosing a man that i have loved half my life are some big chapters in my life.



some background: my husband could not love me the way that i wanted to be loved. so i tried and tried to make him change i have tried for 15 long years to have him love me completely and it just wouldn't or couldn't happen. so i took charge of the one thing that i could and that was my weight!! so december 7th, 2006 i started weight watchers when i stepped on that scale for that first night i weighed in at 239 pounds. WOW!!! i was in shock that i weighed that much and that i had let myself go that i was not taking care of myself. my world was my husband and his happiness i always wanted to make sure he was happy and did not think of my happiness. so i start loosing weight feeling better about myself having more self confidence that i have not had in so many years and i start thinking that maybe this will change how he looks at me and he loves me! but nothing changes it was same day in and day out life that we had. my heart was in a million pieces i loved this man completely and whole heatedly and he couldn't love me the same way and it broke my heart. things happened and things changed for us and lead us to make the choice of a divorce. so here i am a stronger women with a hard lesson that i learned the hard way (but that is how i learn sometimes). i have also learned i am who i am and that i need to be true to myself and not settle, that i am not asking to much from a partner a man to love me completely and whole heartily because i will do the same.



so as for my current weight i have been gaining the last couple months i am eating everything and anything and i know this is BAD. so back onto the treadmill i go and counting my points each day and writing it all down again getting myself back on track. i have not gone over my 175 lifetime weight with WW but i am close so i am working on loosing 10 pounds to get away from the 175 and so i can fit into my summer close :) again.

Still alive!!!

yes i am still alive and i am still maintaining my weight loss!!! i weighed in last thursday and was currently at 168.8 still under my life time goal for ww. i have noticed that my pants are fitting a little titer so i am working on loosing a few pounds i like the 165's that seems to work really well for me. i have been running the last 3 nights and i feel awesome afterwards, it is so true what they say about working out after a day of work that i helps your mood. i feel good about myself and what I have been able to do with my weight loss. with all the stress in my life right now for some reason i have not lost sight of my weight loss and have not started gaining way to much weight. i am so thankful that i have not fallin off the deep end and gain my fat ass back :) plus i have a guy in my life that wants me to look hot on his right arm, so i am trying to keep him happy and me happy by looking good.

on track?

well for the most part yes i am on track but flubbed up a little last night after dinner but it okay. today is going good as well have dinner all lined out and ready to go and i am trying to drink that water :( some days are so much easier then others. i did go workout last night which made me feel good in more ways then one, so why does it seem like i have to pull teeth to get my butt there.

a small update!!

i have survived the holidays, and i only fell apart once okay twice, but that's okay. i am here and i am alive and i am looking forward to 2009. i went and weighed in last Monday night and found out that i had gained 3.2 in 6 weeks och! but that's okay i am now (as of today) back on track and counting my points and looking forward to weighing in on Thursday with my girlfriend. so i am hoping that by next Monday i will have lost that 3.2 pounds that i have gained. there are days that i feel that i don't need to loose anymore weight but then there are days that i feel i need to be thinner to look better! so why is thin in? no one will ever know but here we all are trying to be in that thin crowd.


points~
3~oatmeal
0~hot chocolate
5~sandwich (roast beef)
0~carrots
1~100 cal popcorn

4 waters