Wednesday, July 16, 2008

not a good day!!

i am totally struggling right now and i am so mad and upset at myself for not being strong enough to say no or to stick within my points. so i have asked myself the question can i give up and the answer is NO!!! i can't give up i need to keep plugging along and find a way to get back on track 100% not just work the program when i want to. i need to be working the program each and everyday of the week. i just can't figure out what has changed that i am not able to do the right things. it was so easy before but now it's so hard and i just don't understand. i am happy with my weight now and like the size that i am, but in order to be a life time member i will need to be at 146-117 pounds can i really make it to there weight goal? right now i say no i can't, so is the 146 playing with my mind that i just think that i can't so why not mess up and eat what i want when i want. i am just getting frustrated again because the scale is not moving in the direction that i want it to move in and it's playing head games with me. :( why does this have to be so firkin hard and why does it play with your mind so bad? what can i do to change things mentally for me?

maybe i need to work on my word of the year again. SUCCESS!! i am to have success in 2008, this is my year to shine bright and stand out in a crowd. what is my success each day? this is what i am going to start working on first listing each days successes, and getting myself back into the happy place to help me start loosing again.


points~
3~oatmeal
11~4 chicken strips (jack in the box)
6~small curly fries (jack in the box)
0~dt. coke
4~starbucks

so i have no more points left for the day so what will i eat for dinner? i will eat more points and try to watch how many points i eat. a nice big salad sounds good right about now.

sorry for the ranting but i needed to get it out.